Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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