the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
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it was like having sex with a tree stump
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
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Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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