I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize