i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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