I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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