i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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