matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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