I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
