kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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