My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
