he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
