Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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