Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
