For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
