You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
