I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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