does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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