I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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