I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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