am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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