Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
