I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
