i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
