tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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