He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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