i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize