marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Randomize
