...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
