I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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