were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm at about main and main street
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
