Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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