Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize