Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
