playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
