I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
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hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
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I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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