She is in my trunk
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
