I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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