a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize