Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
