You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i think my mom watched the whole time
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
