Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize