All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Everything about him screamed your future.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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