so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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