During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
