Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
