I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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