i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I want to fling myself into the sun
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
