I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
