i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It's shark week go big or go home
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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