When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
two words: eviction party
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm too high and old for this...
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
