My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
