Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I supernannyed him into submission
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
