You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
