fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
