So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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