I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My bed smells like the plague
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
