mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
