I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
