you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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