my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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